Review: No Country for Old Men

(4 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)

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By Samuel Danger Allen

Josh Brolin plays your run-of-the-mill everyday Joe, out on one of his solo hunting trips, when he comes across a bag packed with Franklins. Two-hundred million in Franklins to be exact. Well what’s so intense and/or grim about that happy-go-lucky situation? You might ask. Well, you didn’t let me finish. It turns out, The most insane psychotic killer in the history of mental illness (Javier Bardem) also wants the money… he also knows where Brolin lives… he also has a high powered, hair trigger shotgun with a 50 pound silencer… he also carries around an air compressor (normally used to kill cows) to open locks and for other bloody means… and he also… well, I won’t ruin it for you.

Caught in the middle of all of this mindless killing, chasing and carnage is Tommy Lee Jones, a poor old Texas sheriff whose time has come and gone, wanting only to retire and escape the horrors of the modern day, but must first deal with the most extreme evil… that I’ve ever seen, anyway.

This is the scariest film I’ve seen in many, many years. Far more horrifying than any horror movie released since I can remember and it isn’t even a horror movie. Did you ever hear about that guy who was forced to clean toilets in prison for soiling himself in a movie theater? After No Country, prisons toilets will shimmer and shine for decades to come. I don’t know who Javier Bardem is, but no role he will ever play will matter after this movie. Seeing his face will force me into Vietnam-like flashbacks. What makes this film even creepier is the fact that there is no soundtrack, the suspense is all in the silence. Not even until halfway through the credits will you hear a single note of music, and its great.

I guess No Country falls under the Suspense/Western/Crime/Drama/Thriller/Mystery category with the subtlest dark humor. Bravo.

This is an adult film. There is more senseless killing in this one than in all nine Friday the 13^th films (including the short lived television series), and if you have a 12^th century messenger-boy haircut, you’ll have to smile.